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February 11, 2007
Coping with Tragedy
Tragedy struck close to home this past week.....
Four teenagers from a local high school were involved in a catastrophic traffic accident that critically injured three of them and left one family reeling from the death of their seventeen- year-old daughter. Shattered dreams, shattered hopes........ and unspeakable grief.
As a father of six who also spends time with countless students in many local schools, this heartbreaking event has forced me into a lot of quiet reflection.
I have struggled with posting a blog of such a sensitive nature so close to the actual event. My wish is to offer some insight and maybe even a small ray of hope to those searching for answers to this and similar suffering. I do not even pretend to understand what the family of this beautiful young girl is going through. My heart aches for their loss, and I have spent hours praying for them and the community that has been forced to endure her passing.
I was once involved in a head-on collision with a Mack truck in which the driver of the truck was instantly killed. I was left trapped in my vehicle with multiple traumas while emergency teams worked to extricate me from my vehicle. My immediate response was shock. But the one question that haunted me later was, "Why was I spared?" A whirlwind of emotions swept over my being as I replayed that accident in my head over and over again. I knew what had happened, but my psyche couldn't seem to get its arms around the circumstances. Mack trucks that slam head-on into passenger vehicles ALWAYS leave the driver of the passenger vehicle dead. Why am I still here?
I suspect that the three surviving teens will struggle with these and other painful questions in the coming days, months, or perhaps even years.
Tragedy Causes Hyper Confusion.
The heightened state of confusion caused by tragedy rocks our coping mechanisms and forces us to face pain that we cannot comprehend at the time...... and may never fully understand. The teens that have been left behind to grieve the loss of their friend will NEVER be the same. They have been set upon an anvil and will be pounded out in the weeks and months to come by very painful realities. These circumstances will have a dramatic affect on their character and personal worldview. These hardships will also profoundly influence their ability to understand the gravity of human suffering.
These teens are going to need some people to come alongside them. They are going to experience some very dark days. We are a society that is accustomed to getting immediate answers to our problems and hardships. Information is always one Google search away. Knowledge is usually only one good book away. But understanding? Who can fathom it? Biblical scholars, philosophers and theologians have written volumes on the human experience of suffering and may help us to gain partial insight. But a thousand years of reflection will NEVER help us to completely make sense of the loss of this beautiful young life.
Love Opens up the Door to Suffering.
Our English word passion derives from the Latin, passus, which means, "suffered". When we truly love others, we subject ourselves to the possibility of being hurt or rejected by them. The most painful thought associated with love is the ever present possibilty of losing them to sudden tragedy. I have begun praying that someone will have the patience to invest in these young people over the long haul.....to come alongside them and suffer WITH them.
To love them sacrificially.
Suffering also opens us up for the possibility of personal grow. But like a tender seedling opening itself up in the earliest stages, we need protection from the harsh elements of the world while new grief is raw and exposed. Suffering jars our ability to understand. Young people have an especially difficult time trying to make sense of unexpected tragedy, not because they are stupid, but because they are young and inexperienced. Tragedy strikes them like a tornado on a cloudless day. Their normal mindset is care-free invincibility.
Tragedy can shrink our personal world into a miniscule dust particle. Suffering forces us to view the world from the inside out. Growth from tragic grief is not easy growth. But when the growth is mature it is like that of a tall and straight oak tree. The roots are firmly established. Strong winds and storms cause little damage to such a mighty structure. When properly nurtured, those who have suffered much have MUCH to offer. Their wisdom and insight are true treasures to those in need of encouragement and guidance.
C. S. Lewis once stated that God whispers to us in our triumphs and successes, but his voice thunders in our agonies. God's megaphone to the world is still suffering. While this philosophy offers little consolation to the family enduring the grief, it may offer some insight to those of us on the outside that are being called to encourage and serve those who are hurting.
Please pay attention to the young people in your life that suffer. Their number is legion. Grow with them. Encourage them. Love them. Suffer with them passionately. And please pray for the families of those that suffer in your life.
Posted by GeorgeP at 07:52 AM | Comments (1)