April 30, 2007
Agony in the Middle.....Persevering in Tough Times
Whenever attempting to pursue a goal that requires my reluctant dependence on the participation of others, I often find myself reminiscing this 1970’s classic by Stealers Wheel:
“Clowns to the left of me,
Jokers to the right, here I am,
Stuck in the middle with you.”
It also causes me to wonder how may times others have looked at me that way.
There is no shortcut to success. Success in every noble endeavor DEMANDS being pressed in the middle. Of course this usually means being pressed in the middle of other people and all of their peculiar quirks. Unfortunately, the thought of being pressed in on both sides is about as exciting as finding that your seat on a Trans-Atlantic flight is ‘stuck in the middle’ of two stoutly businessmen that want to talk about politics and religion. The middle can be a tough place to be, especially during tough times.
Leadership is mostly about the middle because every diligent pursuit in life depends on the agony of the middle. The beginning of any noble pursuit holds out visions of glory and the end often hold out its revealed glory, but the middle of a struggle only holds out, “I guess there’s no sense turning back now….I’m halfway there…….I think…….I hope!”
Most of us can recall stories of people who set out to do something great. They were excited to share their vision and we were inspired by their passion. Perhaps the vision was as simple as getting a better grade next time, or maybe as grand as starting their own business.
Nobody could deny their initial enthusiasm. And they probably enjoyed being noticed for exhibiting an entrepreneurial spirit. But enthusiasm can give way to bewilderment when hardship arrives. This bewilderment can lead to discouragement, which may prompt some frustration. Left unchecked, frustration will lead to complaining. Complaining usually finds its new joy in self-pity. Self-pity always leads to an abandonment of the initial vision. This is usually where blaming rears its ugly head.
There may be nothing worse than a gifted leader that becomes a complaining fault finder. They often shrewdly join themselves to someone else’s vision (yours of course) and embark on their personal leadership renewal by mounting attacks from the middle. They can wreak inestimable damage in relatively short order by abusing their leadership gifts.
Many Starters….Few Finishers…..ONE Winner!
For every marathon runner who stands at the starting line of the Boston Marathon, there are probably 500 at home WISHING they could participate. Many may have even resolved to run the great race but were side-tracked along the way for whatever reason. They probably proudly announced to their friends (and gladly received the accolades) that they were going to run the marathon. And who wouldn’t want to receive the kind of praise that is associated with the pronouncement of such a lofty endeavor? There is glory in standing up and making a profession of that magnitude.
And besides, starting is easy. Starters are a penny a dozen. The starting line is very crowded.
These are the MANY!
But taking your goal to the next level requires more than a decision. There is a profound difference between professing your intentions publicly and acting on them publicly. It takes a tremendous amount of courage to make a plan and then get started with personal resolve. Sometimes this courage takes place in spite of criticism and hardship from others. But the courageous are up to it. The standard of ultimate courage has often been measured by the man who, at the last moment, throws himself on a grenade and trades his life for the life of another. The courageous are like lightning bolts that offer quick bursts of light on a very dark path. These people give us hope. Courage is hard and expensive. True courage is as tough as nails!
The crowd of competition gets very thin at this point.
These are the FEW!
At the very top of the ladder are those who persevere. I have always defined perseverance as courage on a marathon. Even courage, with all of its nobility, comes in short, lightning-like bursts, and has its limitations. A man may throw himself on a grenade in a momentary state of heightened emotional excitement; we call this an act of supreme courage. Courage can be impulsive and happen in an instant. There is usually no long, drawn-out middle to suffer through when exhibiting an act of courage. This is not to minimize the valor of the courageous person. He or she is a rare and precious jewel.
But how many are willing to lay down their whole life for the sake of the vision? Mother Teresa of Calcutta was once asked how she could persevere in her mission knowing that she couldn’t save everyone who was suffering on the mean streets of Calcutta. Her response is worth noting, “God has not called me to a mission of success, He has called me to a mission of mercy.”
Success may require a ton of courage, but perseverance is a higher call. Perseverance by its very nature is not impulsive. It requires steady discipline. Perseverance knows for certain what is required of it. There is no second guessing. With no promise of a visible finish line, Mother Teresa persevered by laying her entire life down for the mission. Her courage was no mere momentary flash of greatness. Hers was a complete surrender to the vision. She is a beautiful example of perseverance under the most extreme circumstances, dealing with extreme people in a most extreme environment. While I cannot count myself as a Mother Teresa, I can set new goals beginning today and pursue them with Mother Teresa-like perseverance. Her example of perseverance still shines like the noon-day sun in a dark and hostile world. Perseverance costs everything. It is polished like fine platinum. The crowd of competitors has vanished in the distance.
This is an example of the ONE!
At the epicenter of every great movement stands one person whose life is a testimony of persevering through the agony in the middle over the long haul. Our character and leadership ability is not measured in a flash, but over the long haul. It means being squeezed and hanging in there. It means being squeezed in our relationships as well as our goals. So it follows that attaining our goals is dependent on our being able to forge meaningful relationships with others, regardless of how difficult that may sometimes be. It means striving with others through tough times when everything inside of you says quit. Hang in there and good luck in your personal quest for persevering through the agony in the middle.
By George A Palombo
Executive Director
American Center for Character & Cultural Education
www.straightroads.org
info@straightroads.org
Posted by GeorgeP at 11:54 AM | Comments (0)
March 02, 2007
Courage to Lead Without Fear
No wise captain leaves port without first making sure that his vessel is fit for the perils of the open sea. It is a simple nautical principle to survey the integrity of the vessel before exposing it to the elements. As leaders, it is important that we regularly examine the integrity of our personal core principles before expecting others to follow us.
It is far easier to be objective when examining our personal strengths and weaknesses when we are anchored safely in the port than trying to assess ourselves under the extreme duress of gale force winds. But although a ship may be safer in harbor, that’s not what ships were built for.
There are many types of fear and some of them can even be healthy. Healthy fear is a defense mechanism that can protect us in the presence of extreme danger. Sometimes healthy fear can be a great motivater. But unhealthy fear can cripple our minds and rob us of the precious jewels of success if it rules over us.
Minimize fear by acting and speaking out of courage and conviction!
Fear is the first negative obstacle we positively must overcome in our minds. If we can’t get past ourselves, then we can never reach others.
Fear paralyzes the mind. Action becomes slow motion in the presence of fear. This is not to imply that we should march recklessly in the presence of fear, but we should not be found completely motionless.
Marshall Ney was one of Napoleon’s key commanders. Once when he was about to enter the throes of battle, he looked down at his knees which were violently knocking together and said, “You may well be shaking, but if you knew where it was I am about to take you, you would be shaking even more ferociously.” Napoleon once said of Ney, “I have two hundred million in my coffers and would give them all for Ney.”
Courage is the beginning of action. When fear sets in, the will must take over. Henry Ford once said that, “You can’t build a reputation on what you’re going to do.” Most people know what to do but often allow fear of the unknown to slow down their progress. Do not be afraid to step out and make a mistake. YOU WILL MAKE MISTAKES! But mistakes can be AWESOME in their power.
Mistakes reveal at least two certainties. (1) You don’t know EVERYTHING. Legendary basketball coach John Wooden reminds us that “It’s what you learn after you know everything that counts.” (2) You NEED others. People are always more willing to support what they have helped to create.
Mistakes also present at least two opportunities: (1) The opportunity to learn from your mistakes and (2) the opportunity to teach others from your mistakes. Mistakes do not need to be failure. Mistakes can stretch the boundaries of your courage. Failure and fear are quitters. Courage and perseverance are winners. Press hard into the lives of those around you. Encourage others by the words of your mouth. Your courage will be made visible in your convictions.
George A Palombo
Executive Director
Posted by GeorgeP at 09:09 AM | Comments (0)